A Dad Like None Other

One topic most people find easy to discuss is their parents.  Usually you’ll see faces light up with love as they tell you about mom’s fried chicken or dad’s amazing carpentry skills.  It hurts me though to see eyes cloud with pain as I am told tales of absent fathers or abusive mothers, and as a schoolteacher, I hear those stories a lot. 

My own story is sort of unique. 

I can empathize with those pain-filled eyes because I can remember when my family was one of those sad stories.  I won’t go into great detail here, but we were living in abject poverty with a father in the home who was living only to please himself.  However, my dad became a Christian when I was eight years old, and everything changed.  What I want to convey are a few of the things about the new father I received on that day that make him so amazing.

• When my dad became a Christian, it was real, and the change was immediate.  Where there had been drugs, alcohol, and long absences, now there was peace, contentment, and involvement.  Try to tell me Jesus isn’t real, and I’ll tell you a story about a fellow named Jim Raley who became a new man the day he met his Lord. 

Dad lied about his age when he was 17 and joined the Air Force.
This is him at age 18.

• He nicknamed me ‘Lucy,’ and I was a teenager before I figured out my name was not Eve Kathleen Lucy Raley.
• I loved to squeeze Dad’s bicep muscle.  He would flex it and say, “That’ll crack your head like a walnut.”
• I was never scared in the night because I knew dad was in the house.  With those walnut-cracking muscles, he was like Superman to me, and everyone under his protection could sleep safe and sound. 
• Every night before he went to sleep, he would kneel down next to his bed and pray.  Every. night.
• I thought it would be funny to hide in a pile of laundry on his bed and scare him after his evening prayers.  It all went perfectly until I realized he had his huge fist drawn back to deck the hidden terror in the laundry. Thank you, Dad, for realizing it was me before you broke out my teeth.
•  One night when we were doing our family Bible study of Proverbs, I was feeling peevish, so I made the point that none of the verses applied to me because they were all addressed to “My Son.”  He patiently explained to me that the masculine form was all-encompassing for the sake of those verses,  and thereafter, when Dad would reach one of those “My Son” verses, he would always pause, then add “or Daughter,” and look significantly at me over the top of his Bible.  I always wished I hadn’t tried to be difficult that evening. 
• I never saw my dad get angry.  Not. one. time.  He never yelled at me or belittled me or made me feel less.  If I did something deserving of punishment, I could bet the consequence would be swift and sure, but it was never done out of anger.  I have tried to discipline my own children in the same way. 
• One time after I had done something particularly heinous, I went to his bedroom to apologize.  He was looking out his window as I came up behind him and said, “I’m sorry.”  He turned to me, and I saw he had been crying.  Those tears broke my heart, and I never wanted to disappoint him again.
•  He taught me that the Bible was sacred and holy.  The Bible was so revered in our home that no objects were allowed to be placed on top of it… unless it was another Bible. 
• Dad forbade me to date certain Undesirables, and when I tried to sneak around and do it anyway, he whipped me.  I look back on those fellows now and shudder.  Thank you, Dad!
• When I was going through my teenage angst months, Dad one day sent me a balloon and a rose to school, and I remembered how much he really loved me and stopped acting so stupid.
• My dad always told me I was beautiful and smart and worth more than diamonds, and I believed him because he only speaks the truth.

He was really proud of all his girls.

• My father never hesitated to show us kids how much he loves my mother.  He used to tell me that a man should kiss his woman like he eats a ripe peach; then he’d turn and kiss her.  I never knew exactly what that meant because he put up his hand to hide their faces.  It never crossed my mind that my parents wouldn’t always be together.  They were a single unit then and still are today.
• When Scary Todd started leaving his scary messages on my voicemail, I told my dad about it and never heard from Scary Todd again.
• *Disclaimer* Scary Todd was not killed.  I SAW him again after that, but he actively avoided me.
•  He’s crazy intelligent but hides it on purpose behind his country drawl and poor spelling.  One time, he wrote, “CHEEP, CHEEP” on a car he was selling.  When I asked him if he knew he misspelled it, he told me he was luring potential buyers into a false feeling of superiority, and they wouldn’t realize he had them until it was too late. 
• On the day when I shamefacedly confessed my pregnancy-of-unfortunate-circumstances to him, Dad smiled at me and said, “I like grandbabies.”
• When I cried the day before my ten-year class reunion because I had bitten all my nails off the week prior and was ashamed of my hands, he made an appointment for me to go have my nails done.
• He loves my children as much as I do.

My dad baptizing my nephew Christian.

• His eyes light up every time he sees me, and when I say, “How are you, Dad?” he always replies, “Better now!”
• In the summertime, he cuts a single rosebud for me as I leave his house.  He will always hold the perfect little flower up to my face before giving it to me and say, “It’s not nearly so pretty as you.”

Did I mention how handsome he is?

I’m going to see my dad today.  I’ll try to tell him how much I love him and what a great dad he is.  I’m always afraid he doesn’t quite believe it’s true.  He focuses too much on those early years and thinks the damage he did then could never be undone. 

Maybe he doesn’t understand the legacy of love he built for us every day since then.

Maybe he doesn’t see that I am what I am today because he was who he was.

Maybe he doesn’t realize that when I look back on my childhood, all I feel is love and safety.

Maybe he doesn’t know that in the eyes of his children, he is a man among men. 

Maybe today will be the day I find the words to show him what an amazing dad he is and how he taught me what a real man looks like.  

My family- I love them all so much!